Can Parent Coaching Help With Tantrums, Defiance, and Power Struggles? Here’s How
- Liz Morrison, LCSW
- Jan 20
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 4
Tantrums, defiance, and power struggles are some of the most exhausting behavior challenges parents face. They can leave even confident caregivers feeling frustrated, reactive, and unsure of what to do next. When these moments happen repeatedly, many parents wonder whether parent coaching in Boulder County, CO can actually help—or if they’re just failing at discipline.
The short answer: yes, parent coaching can help—and not by making parenting permissive or “letting things slide.” Instead, a skilled parent coach helps families understand behavior, reduce escalation, and create sustainable systems that support cooperation and emotional growth.
Understanding the Root Causes of Challenging Behaviors
Before behavior can change, it needs to be understood. Tantrums and defiance are rarely random or manipulative—they’re forms of communication, especially for children who are still developing emotional and self-regulation skills.
Many challenging behaviors are developmentally appropriate. Toddlers have limited impulse control, young children are learning independence, and teens are wired to test boundaries. Parent coaching helps parents align expectations with their child’s developmental stage and recognize when behavior is signaling unmet needs, overwhelm, or a lack of skills—not intentional misbehavior.
How Parent Coaching Addresses Parent Triggers and Reactions
One of the most powerful aspects of parent coaching is its focus on the parent’s nervous system. When a child escalates, it often triggers a parent’s own stress response—leading to yelling, shutting down, or power struggles.
Parent coaching teaches nervous system regulation strategies so parents can stay grounded during intense moments. When parents are regulated, children are more likely to calm down. This shift from reaction to regulation is often the first step in reducing tantrums and defiance.
Coaching Strategies for De-Escalation
Rather than relying on punishment or consequences after things fall apart, parent coaching emphasizes de-escalation in the moment. Strategies often include:
Staying calm and present during emotional outbursts
Using fewer words and clearer boundaries
Practicing “connection before correction.”
Helping children feel safe before expecting compliance
A parent coach supports parents in learning how to intervene early—before emotions spiral out of control.
Building Cooperation Instead of Power Struggles
Power struggles happen when both the parent and child feel the need to “win.” Parent coaching helps shift this dynamic by teaching frameworks that promote cooperation rather than control.
This includes:
Setting firm, predictable boundaries without threats
Offering limited choices to support autonomy
Separating boundaries from punishment
Maintaining leadership without fear or force
Boundaries are not about control—they’re about safety, predictability, and trust.
Creating Sustainable Systems at Home
Consistency is key, but consistency doesn’t mean rigidity. Parent coaching helps families create routines, expectations, and systems that are realistic and sustainable.
Preventive approaches may include:
Predictable daily routines
Clear expectations communicated ahead of time
Planning for transitions and high-stress moments
Adjusting the environment to reduce triggers
When systems are in place, behavior challenges often decrease naturally.
Debunking Common Myths About Challenging Behavior
Myth 1: Challenging behavior means bad parenting. Behavior is a normal part of development—not a reflection of your worth as a parent.
Myth 2: You just need to be stricter.Stricter doesn’t always mean more effective. Regulation, clarity, and connection often lead to better outcomes than control.
Myth 3: Tantrums and defiance are manipulation tactics. Most children are expressing overwhelm or unmet needs—not trying to control adults.
Myth 4: Parent coaching is permissive parenting. Parent coaching emphasizes structure, boundaries, and leadership—without shame or fear.
How Parent Coaching Creates Long-Term Change
Parent coaching doesn’t offer quick fixes. It builds skills—emotional regulation, consistency, communication, and leadership—that grow with your child. Over time, parents often see fewer power struggles, improved cooperation, and a calmer family dynamic.
If tantrums, defiance, or constant conflict are taking a toll on your family, parent coaching at Finding Focus Therapy can offer support that is practical, respectful, and effective.
Begin Handling Tantrums, Defiance, and Power Struggles With Parent Coaching in Boulder County, CO
If tantrums and power struggles are leaving you exhausted and unsure of what to do next, you don't have to figure it out alone. Parent coaching in Boulder County, CO can help you understand your child's behavior, regulate your own stress response, and create lasting change in your home. Contact Finding Focus Therapy today to learn how personalized parent coaching can bring more calm, cooperation, and confidence to your family. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Reach out to get support for tantrums, defiance, and constant power struggles.
Work with a parent coach to learn regulation skills and de-escalation strategies that actually work.
Begin to parent with less reactivity, stronger boundaries, and more cooperation at home.
Additional Therapy and Coaching Services Offered at Finding Focus Therapy
When tantrums and defiance become part of daily life, the stress can make it hard to maintain routines or follow through with consistency. Parent coaching at Finding Focus Therapy helps you understand that struggles with structure often stem from overwhelm—not failure. Through coaching, you'll learn regulation strategies, reduce emotional reactivity, and build realistic routines that support cooperation and calm instead of adding more pressure to your plate. For parents and adults facing challenges with planning, organization, and follow-through, I also offer targeted executive functioning support:
Executive Functioning Coaching for Parents: Learn to manage parenting demands while reducing decision fatigue and creating systems that actually fit your family's rhythm.
Executive Functioning Coaching for Adults: Build skills in prioritization, time management, and organization to navigate personal and professional responsibilities with less overwhelm.
Executive Functioning Coaching for Young Adults: Develop planning and self-management skills to handle increasing independence, academic or work demands, and daily life transitions.
About the Author
Finding Focus Therapy is led by Liz Morrison, LCSW, who specializes in helping individuals and families move through patterns of stress, reactivity, and overwhelm. With over a decade of clinical experience, Liz works with adults, young adults, and parents to strengthen executive functioning, emotional regulation, and sustainable routines that work in the context of real life—not just in theory.
Beyond individual coaching, Liz collaborates with schools and community organizations to provide training on mental load reduction and skill-building for everyday function. Whether in one-on-one sessions or group settings, her approach centers on accessible strategies, compassionate support, and building long-term confidence in managing life's demands.
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